I voted today. At least I think I did. I hope it was right. The people running the polls didn’t really seem to have it together. I am glad that it was a paper ballot – You know, in case there are any discrepancies. Not that, that would ever happen!

I have voted since I was 18. I am educated. If voting is that confusing for me, I have to believe it is for many others.

I am cynical these days. This is very new to me. I use to be so optimistic. It’s not that I feel I am doomed. In fact I feel like I’m on the right path in my life. It’s just that I see more of the injustices in this world.

I am no longer protected in the small town environment. I really appreciate it though – my small town upbringing. It was a place where I felt relatively safe; where people were relatively nice to each other. My experience taught me to help others out – About community.

Here is this enormous city alienation seems to prevail. Although the city is segregated and there are smaller “communities”, it seems the number of people reinforces the alienation. In the small town rural environment there is more homogeneity and if you live there long enough everyone seems familiar.

When you are known, it seems that you are more important. People may like you or not, they may complain about you, love you, hate you but……They Know You. I think this is what helps stave off the alienation. It’s not that it doesn’t occur nor is it perfect. I just wish we could find a way to increase community here. A place where people can belong and care for each other.

A daunting task.

I remember when I could walk around the corner to the Coffee Bean or Starbucks. There were some people that were like me. It wasn’t that long ago. Then I move to the edge of South Central LA.

Being from New England, I grew up with homogeneity and it was boring. When I moved out here I lived in Glendale (suburbia), because it was somewhat like home but not quite me.

So, I moved to West LA. It was good but being a poor student and wanting more bang for the buck, I moved East.

Well I certianly got more bang for the buck! We found a cute house, cheap, on a wide street lined with majestic palm trees. When the sun sets behind those giants, it really is beautiful!

Living here is certainly not boring . We are the first white people in our neighborhood of primarily Latino families with a smattering of African Americans. I hear the neighborhood used to be really rough but has gotten much better over the past few years.

Many of our neighbors are so friendly and they look out for us. I’m not as enamored with some others, however. Last weekend these two guys two houses down sat in their SUV for 3 hours with the bass so loud! When we asked them to turn it down, they just turned away from us. They are like bullies. Why can’t people just be nice to one another?

Lately I’ve realized how the negative energy can really be infectious. I’m so sick of the trash thrown in front of our yard, the drinking in the street and the music with bass that rattles the windows.

No one cares about the people here either. I called the police about a guy that keeps driving up and down Jefferson Blvd, directing traffic, swearing at people and causing near accidents, pretending to be a cop and they treated me like I was a criminal!

THAT WAS WHEN I COULD ACTUALLY GET THROUGH TO THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.

Our mail is inconsistent, the street sweeper sometimes comes….How are the people living in the neighborhoods suppose to care if the “City” doesn’t?

What has really hit me is how much the poverty, anger and dirtiness effects me. I’ve been really angry lately. If people get in my way I want to yell at them and run them over. I don’t like being that way. My partner commented that she is usually the one to get angry and that it is not like me to be like this.

Maybe its not like my neighbors either?

A real Catch 22